In fifth grade I stood with my hands on the counters, levitating myself above the scale. First my big toe, then my entire foot - what would the number be? I saw the real number and shuddered. No, that can’t be it. At ten years old I held onto the counter and lifted some of… Continue reading Let’s rewrite the story.
There was a time... When I feared upcoming doctor appoints, When I was scared of the fine line I walked between school and treatment. There was a time... When I felt utterly numb and closed off to my emotions When food was my absolute enemy When even the sight of butter made me squirm.… Continue reading There was a time…
This morning I woke up to a rainy, drizzly day. If you know me, this is my absolute favorite weather. It means hot coffee and cozy sweaters, sitting in a cafe or maybe curling up and watching a movie. Waking up to the pattering of rain on the roof, I was in a great mood.… Continue reading I Choose Recovery Today, Sorry ED
Yesterday, my family and I headed out in the early morning for a road trip to explore Minnesota, a state we visit annually in the summer. We travelled down roads lined with looming pine trees and passed glimmering lakes that sparkled under the morning sun. We stopped at some landmark destinations, including two lighthouses and… Continue reading A Piece of Chocolate
For me, sticking to my meal plan after my first discharge from residential did not go according to plan. I couldn’t understand why, I had it all mapped out - I had timers set on my phone and specific times when I would eat meals. I even went grocery shopping and methodically planned dinners with… Continue reading A Subtle Shift – Update
I was walking around my town last night when I overheard another conversation held by three adult women. I was actually on my way to meet a friend for ice cream - a very big step for me. Anyway, their topic was one not unlike others I had heard so many times before, however that… Continue reading What would happen?
I am discharging from residential and entering into outpatient treatment as of this Tuesday. Though I am extremely nervous, I feel so much more equipped and prepared than my first discharge. I now understand that recovery outside of treatment is not going to be easy or linear. It is going to be an uphill battle… Continue reading Core beliefs