Sometimes, all we need is a reminder to not take life so seriously.
A lot of my time is spent contemplating my reason for existence. What was I put on this earth to do and how can I help others? How can I prevent other people from falling into the same eating disorder trap that I did? How can I reach out to others who are struggling before it is too late?
And the questions that plague me don’t stop there. How can I turn my career into something rewarding and fulfilling? How can I feel like in my occupation, I am making a difference? How can I put my education to good use?
Every time I hear a conversation about the newest weight less trend or diet fad I feel an urgency. An urgency to stop these thoughts and this mindset from continuing to infiltrate our society. A desperate desire to tell people that it is okay to eat, your hunger is okay, more than okay.
I get a flashback to the person I was a couple of years ago, so susceptible to these weight less messages, and so unfairly mad at myself for my normal hunger cues. And then I just get sad. Sad because I don’t want anyone else to go through that, sad because I picture another little girl or boy, believing these messages as wholeheartedly as I did.
Believing that yes, they could subsist on just an apple. Believing that yes, working out for that long is normal and “healthy.” Believing that yes, they need to change their body because as it is currently is not okay. And I just cannot stand to sit around idly as this happens.
Thus, these contemplations spring me into action. And although they are positive and help me to stay motivated, at times they can inhibit me from living in the moment. Sometimes, I find myself worked up into a frenzied panic because I am not accomplishing all that I want to be at this very moment.
With all this thought about the future and what could and should be, I need a reminder to just live. A reminder that the present is here and important and I cannot spend my entire existence future tripping and contemplating. I strongly believe that what is meant to happen will happen. Thus, if I keep my will to not only recovery but also to help others recover, then I will eventually make a difference.
I always thought the saying “If I help one person then it will all be worth it” was rather cliché. Wouldn’t you want to help as many people as possible? But then I thought about it. If I helped one person to stay out of the depths of an eating disorder, to keep a healthy relationship with food and exercise, to always love themselves, I would feel so incredibly fulfilled. Just to think that one person escaped those hardships would truly be enough for me. And that is the sole reason of why I keep writing.