My first day back in residential was yesterday and so far I am doing okay. Meals have gone fine and I completed my supplement last night. Needless to say, it is so much easier than the first time. I have a better mindset and I am more recovery focused this time around. Everything seems just a little bit clearer and there is an end goal in sight.
I am only staying for two weeks so I want to make the most of my time here and get to a stable weight. I also want to make immense mental strides as I work through my restriction and exercise urges and face them head on. I think my second stay here will be a good reset for me and will be a chance for me to reassess my priorities.
I am doing this for my future, for eventually getting my CNA and going to Seattle Pacific University in the fall. I am doing this so I can exercise and move again in the way that I want to. I am doing this for my own happiness and for my own life. Restriction and excessive exercise is not the way I want to live. In fact, that lifestyle is not living but is rather merely existing. For me, there is no choice but recovery.
Choosing to go back to residential the second time is the difference between thriving and just surviving.